UGH I JUST REALLY LOVE FOOD OK

I really really love it when people tell me I’m a good cook. I’m extremely proud of my culinary abilities and it’s lovely to have them complimented.

BUT.

I really wish that people would say
“You should be a chef”
instead of
“You’re, like, the perfect housewife.”

YES I KNOW that they don’t mean it to be belittling and offensive, BUT IT FUCKING IS. Because if I was a guy they wouldn’t say that to me. If I was a guy, my kitchen talent would mean I ought to work in a Michelin-starred restaurant, or write a recipe book, or host a cooking show. But because I am a girl, my kitchen talent means I ought to live my life as a kept woman, cooking and cleaning for a husband who never learned to look after himself. Did somebody say FUCK THAT?

Pro tip - Don’t cook while tipsy.

Last night my best friend Suzie came round for dinner. I made a roast lamb but I’m completely disorganised so I didn’t actually get it in the oven till 6-ish, which means it wasn’t ready till like 8.30. So we were STARVING, but we started on the wine and cider before we ate cuz we’re young and dumb like that. So I’m trying to dish up the roast when that two-or-three-drink-haze is starting to kick in, and like a total prat I burned myself. On the tips of my left index and middle fingers are great big edge-of-the-pan blisters. OW. Dude there is nothing more ridiculously painful than burns. (By ridiculously I mean it SHOULDN’T hurt that much, jesus, fingers, get over it, it’s not that bad, why are you still making me cry two hours later??)

And the moral of the story is; don’t drink on an empty stomach, most especially while you’re working with things that are hot and things that are sharp. And never underestimate the amount of time it takes to cook a roast.

But dinner was fucking delicious anyway. Thanks for asking. X)

Pepe’s Woodfired, Warragul - A Review

So I live in Melbourne, but my family live in Gippsland (eastern rural Victoria for non-locals). My partner and I make the three-hour drive out there for the weekend every few weeks or so, and getting food on the way has always proved a problem. Put simply, most of the places convenient to the highway are rubbish. Don’t get me started. But on our last trip we made a wonderful discovery; Pepe’s Woodfired in Warragul.

I’m not even exaggerating when I say it was the best damn meal I’ve ever been served outside of Melbourne - and it’s well and truly up there with my all-time favorites.

Jose and Emma are a friendly, spunky and obscenely talented couple who have run the restaurant together since January this year. They’ve done it all up with a sort of provincial Spanish flair and specialize in woodfired pizza and tapas, though for christ’s sake don’t overlook their specials! The atmosphere is warm and relaxed, but the best part of this restaurant (besides the food of course) is the central kitchen, surrounded by an inviting bar where you can perch with your pre-dinner drink and watch the clever pair whip up your meal - and everyone else’s, for that matter. I love watching chefs at work, and these guys were no exception. Maybe if I stare hard enough some of those kitchen superpowers will rub off on me…

So I got this kind of greek-inspired lamb salad thing off the specials menu, and, christ on a bike, I actually got a bit emotional eating it, it was so fucking delicious. The seasoning on the lamb - what WAS that?? It was like the cocaine of angels!! - and it was just cooked to perfection, served on lettuce, cherry tomatoes, and chunky fried potatoes, and topped with this dressing that was like, yogurt, cucumber, garlic and awesome all mixed together with a pinch of eat-this-and-weep.
I’m really overdoing this review here, aren’t I? Sorry guys, I’ll try and conclude this calmly.

Food is a very big deal for me. A bad meal means I spend the next several hours with a thundercloud over my head, whining at loved ones, sneering at strangers, throwing my shoe at innocent cats crossing the street. A really good meal, however, and I am king of the world and everyone and everything is bloody beautiful. This was one such meal. You guys, please, no matter what brings you to the town of Warragul, do not leave without stopping by Pepe’s Woodfired on Queen Street. I promise, you won’t regret it.